What’s It Like To Live in Paris?
A personal perspective on the Parisian lifestyle.
Paris is a magical, remarkable, life-changing place to call home. Once you experience the “Parisian Life,” it will stay with you for the rest of your life, regardless of where you choose to call home. There is an undeniable energy, joy, and beauty that the city so flawlessly embodies. And while every word I write could easily be a love letter to the city, it’s important to remember to realities of what it means to call Paris home.
I have a very strong personal connection to the city; it’s where I met my now husband, started my first business, and most of all, it showed me who I was and who I wanted to become. I initially moved to Paris when I was 19 to go to university (to study what would turn out to be many things; go figure) and it was during this time I discovered new passions, perspectives, and way of life.
I remember when I first arrived to the city, everything felt like magic. I mean…of course it did; I was 19 in Paris. But regardless of my age, Paris is one of those places that is romanticized, and often for good reason. Most of the things that you see on social media or featured in television series are actually what makes Paris so joyful: picnics in parks, walks to a flower shop, an evening drink on a terrace with friends. All of these things are indeed a part of Parisian society.
During my first semester at school I took an anthropology class where we had an entire study on “cafe culture.” It was literally my homework to go to various cafes throughout the city and report on human behavior (obviously the best homework I’ve ever been assigned.) And throughout this study, and my following years in Paris, I came to love many aspects of the city, as I’m sure some of you have as well if you’ve visited or have been lucky enough to call it home.
However, after living there for almost a year, the “honeymoon phase” started to wear off and everything in the city slowly started to irritate me. I remember talking to friends and family back home and no one understood where I was coming from. Everyone would just say “But it’s Paris…” with the image of baguettes and wine surely floating in their heads.
Like every place on Earth, the pros often come with cons as well.
To this day, we debate the idea of a life in Paris, especially now that we have kids. Technically we live in Austin, but we’ve spent at least several months in Paris (almost) every year since we’ve moved back to the US almost four years ago. Paris is where my husband’s entire family lives and a place I miss deeply when I’m not there. (I’m especially missing Paris right now, as we’re welcoming baby boy this Summer and we won’t be able to spend time there until next year.)
However, when I feel my Paris FOMO start to kick in, I try to remind myself not to romanticize the Parisian life too much. There are aspects of Parisian living that deserve to be missed and romanticized, and there are also some aspects that often get neglected from picturesque social feeds and Netflix series’. I wanted to write this post to highlight both the beautiful and challenging side of living in the city. I also plan to write about how living in Paris has shown me what it means to live a meaningful, connected, and joyful life (but that’s a story for another time.)
Pre-Reading Note: Before diving into my list of both the beautiful and challenging aspects of living in Paris, I wanted to preface the following section with a quick note: This list is based on my personal experience, background, perspective, and situation. For example, the way I experience and view Paris is completely different from the way my in-laws, who have lived in the city majority of their lives, view and experience Paris. This isn’t a universal, factual collection of what it’s like to be a Parisian, it’s just my personal account.
The Beautiful Side
Never Ending Exploration: There is always something to discover in Paris, whether it’s a restaurant, coffeeshop, art gallery, boutique, museum…you name it. I love that I lived and visited for years now and have yet to even scratch the surface of what the city has to offer. Even when I’m not there, I’m always adding new places to my “Paris List” of places I want to visit the next time we’re in town. This is also one of the reasons why it’s a great place for kids: there is endless entertainment, from a carousel ride in the park, to street side crêpes during an afternoons stroll.
All Things Food: Everything about food in Paris, from the quality of produce and restaurants, to the relationship that the society has with food is an inspiration. Food is connection and joy; something that is meant to be savored over a long period of time. In addition to re-learning how to enjoy a meal, I also had to learn the right way (in my opinion) to shop for groceries. Instead of jumping in our cars and driving to the supermarket to buy everything from veggies to paper towels, as we’re accustomed to in the US, you instead walk from source to source, purchasing whatever you need that day (or next few days, not the next few weeks.) Maybe it’s a baguette from the boulangerie, or cheese from the fromagerie. It’s a beautiful way to actually connect with food, as well as the people behind the food.
Walking: Another aspect of Parisian living that we miss is the walkability, which is hard to come by in Texas where cars are typically the only feasible mode of transportation. The ability to access all of your daily necessities by foot is truly unbeatable, whether it means walking the kids to school in the morning, or running down to the market when you suddenly realize you’re missing an ingredient. Not only is it convenient, but it’s also just energy-giving and naturally leads to a healthier lifestyle. Here in Austin, I sit at my desk for majority of my day, and when I need to leave, I jump in the car. But in Paris, you’re forced to walk, as it’s a part of your daily life. You don’t have to think about carving out time for a walk around the neighborhood, or my personal “favorite,” having to drive your car somewhere to even take a walk.
Surrounded by Beauty & Wonder: Part of the “beautiful” side of living in Paris is literally the beauty. From monuments seamlessly blended into the city, to the ancient architecture that defines Paris, there is always something to take a photo of (either literally or mentally.) I always feel a sense of awe when in Paris, regardless of how many times I’ve walked down one street or visited a certain place. Also, speaking of beauty, the arts, design, and creative scenes here are unparalleled.
Easy Access to Travel: Whether by car, train, or plane, Paris is the perfect hub for travel. From day trips outside the city, to weekend trips outside the country, you can conveniently travel on a regular basis to diverse, stunning places. This is another aspect of life we’re really missing here in Austin. If you’re at all familiar with Texas, you know it takes about 6-8 hours to even get out of the state, and (a potential “hot take”) we don’t have many amazing options for day or weekend trips within Texas (but I guess this also depends on your personal preferences!) From Paris, you can be in another country in just a few short hours, whether you hop on a train to Amsterdam, or grab a plane to Greece.
All Ways Welcome: I believe that there is a “scene” for everyone in Paris, whether you’re looking to move there or just planning a visit. The city is filled with diverse perspectives, people, and places, so whatever your cup of tea is, I’m sure you can find it in Paris. I also have found it somewhat easy to meet new people, especially now that we have kids. During our latest 4-month trip in Paris, I naturally met other American and “expat” moms in parks or coffeeshops who would hear me speaking English and strike up conversation. I also think Paris is built for connection. When you’re sitting in a six-seat coffeeshop, it’s hard not to talk to the person next to you!
Calm Amongst The Chaos: This is something I really appreciate about Paris and I feel is especially unique to the city. Regardless of all of the hustle and bustle that’s happening throughout Paris, there are so many places for respite; places that actually make you forget you’re in the center of a crowded city. I also love that there are streets in Paris that are totally quiet and uncrowded, which isn’t easily achievable in large cities. Whether it’s a museum cafe, or a serene garden, there are plenty of settings that feel completely separate from the surrounding chaos.
Security: Being from the US, and specifically Texas, I’ve come to really value a sense of safety and security. Living in Paris, or Europe in general, you receive added securities that we don’t benefit from in the US, such as socialized health care, strict gun laws, liberal policies on women’s health and more. While there are some aspects of “security” that you have to pay more attention to in Paris, such as pickpocketing, overall, Paris offers more a secure lifestyle when it comes to the larger issues.
The Challenging Side
Now that I’ve uncovered my personal favorite facets of Parisian living, here are a few of the challenges I’ve experienced. It’s also important to note that some of these points are not specific to just Paris, but to big-city living in general. I didn’t want to call these “cons” as I know everyone will have their own perspective on what qualifies as a con and what does not. There are certain things that may bother me that may not bother the next person over. Also, many things that weren’t a big deal to us pre-having kids, now carry a much heavier weight. So, with that being said, here are some difficulties I’ve noticed from living in Paris:
Transport: As I mentioned in the previous section, walking is a great option when living in Paris. However, when walking is not an option, or would just be plain miserable, you’re left with public transport or driving. I will say the public transport system is extremely efficient for the most part, but as with any public transport, there are issues, whether that’s delays, sudden stops of service, lack of service because of striking, uncomfortable traveling during busy times of the day, or questionable characters (I’ve had my phone stolen on the metro, a guy next to me has been randomly punched, and I’ve witnessed heavy drug-use on semi-regular occasions.) Also, all of these things have to be taken higher into consideration when you have children. For example, coordinating strollers and kids on the metro is personally not an ideal scenario. Also, driving in the city has increasingly become a nightmare, between traffic, construction, parking, and the good ole’ Parisian road rage, you can have confidence that a drive in Paris won’t be a stress-free experience.
Stress & Overall Dissatisfaction: It’s probably pretty common knowledge that the French are a particularly dissatisfied and stressed bunch. If you take the metro in the morning, you will most likely be met with solemn faces preparing for the long work day ahead. Just like joy and connection radiate throughout the society, I, unfortunately, also believe stress and dissatisfaction radiate as well. Between honks and slurs while driving, rude commentary made in passing, strikes and vandalism, and more, it’s something that is felt, and also one of the reasons why my husband is so hesitant to return to his hometown.
Apartment Living: This one will completely depend on personal preference and values (read more on that here ,) and as with pretty much everything on this list, there are pros and cons. For us, we prefer to live in a house versus an apartment, more so now that we have kids. I will say that this is something we are still willing to compromise on, but it does require a few mandatory considerations. Maybe we’ve been unlucky with our previous apartment buildings, but in each apartment we've lived, we’ve had some rather unfavorable neighbors. From throwing raging parties every week, to having an Airbnb right above us, there were many nights where sleep and peace was hard to come by. You also have to consider that apartment living typically means zero to little outdoor space, and sometimes no elevator which can be quite difficult when carrying bags of groceries (or kids) up several flights of stairs.
The Language: You can get away with living in Paris without being fluent in French, however, it won’t be easy. Visiting Paris knowing a few of the key terms and greetings is perfectly fine, but trying to establish a life there without speaking French is another story. From everyday to-do’s like doctors visits, setting up a bank account, and renting an apartment, speaking (good) French will make your life way easier, and also help you to fully acclimate to the city. This is a personal mistake I’ve made during my time in Paris. I met my now husband just a week after moving to the city, and while I had begun taking French lessons six months before moving to the city, I was still very much lacking in my speaking skills. So once I met my husband I essentially used him as my “crutch” and I never made myself become completely fluent because I depended too heavily on him (my bad!)
The Weather: Like many places, the spring and fall are absolutely dreamy in Paris. However, summer and winter are much less desirable. The winters tend to be very grey, cold, and wet (with the occasional snow, but according to my husband it used to snow way more when he was growing up.) And the summers are HOT and only getting hotter, with heatwaves that seem to intensify each year. The summer heat hits particularly hard because air conditioning is hard to come by in Paris, whether we’re talking about apartments or in everyday establishments like restaurants. This is one thing I never got used to. Many Parisians open their windows and blast their fans, but for me, it’s a feeling of no escape. You sweat while getting dressed in the morning, walking down the street, while eating in a small cafe, etc. It’s not uncommon to see people finding daily refuge in museums, not for the art, but for the AC.
Air Quality & Pollution: When I first moved to Paris my skin was in constantly bad shape, as was my hair. I never took into consideration that it could be the actual environment causing me to break out and lose a good amount of hair (I just blamed it on the stress of being in a new, different place.) It wasn’t until I visited my boyfriend’s (at the time) apartment in the suburbs that I saw the cloud of smog that canopied over the entire city. If you check the air quality on your weather app right now, you will most likely see that Paris’ is in poor condition. While they are making great efforts in the area of climate change and pollution reduction (well “great” depending how you look at it, as a lot of French people are also dissatisfied with how they’re going about these efforts,) they still have a far way to go, and I’m curious if their vision will ever be realized. Fingers crossed!
Cigarette Culture: A rare instance where I believe the US actually does a better job. Smoking is a way of life for a lot of Parisians. It’s a form of destressing, but also a means of socialization. Maybe more of a personal preference, but I don’t necessarily like inhaling the smell of smoke while walking down the street or trying to enjoy a meal.
The Inconvenience: Once you add up all the factors above, you may conclude that living in Paris isn’t the easiest, most convenient lifestyle. It can be hard, testing, and stressful, but also worth it in many ways. I also believe that they are elements of living in the US that are too convenient and we’re definitely missing some of that “DIY approach” that Parisians and Europeans have built into their daily lives. There is a level of “inconvenience” that also lends itself to intentionality and appreciation. For example, taking a few minutes to hang dry clothes (versus throwing them in the dryer) forces you to take a few moments to slow down. Or walking from place to place to shop for groceries (versus having them delivered to your doorstep) gives you a newfound appreciation for the food.
If you’ve spent time in Paris, currently live in Paris, or have previously called this city home, I would love to hear from you. What has your experience been like? What do you believe to be the beautiful and challenging sides of the Parisian Life? And if you’ve read this far, thank you for sticking with me through my personal tangents on what it’s like to live in Paris.
