So…Where Should We Live?

An exploration of choosing a new place to live
The question “where should we live” has now been a regular topic of conversation in our household, as I’m constantly exploring how to live the best version of my life and create the most ideal life for our family. This is a question I keep coming back to time and time again, and maybe you do too, whether you have kids or not.
It’s no secret that our environment plays a role in our daily fulfillment, contentment, and happiness. There’s now been many studies, articles written, podcast episodes recorded, and so on, all of which confirm that our physical environment truly does matter. You’ve probably come across studies of people who live to be over 100 years old, or “Happiest Countries on Earth,” and it seems the two are closely linked. There are certain lifestyle habits that position us to an overall healthy state of being, and therefore, increase the chances of living to 100.

Now, I’m not saying to move to a new place with the hope of longevity, but I am saying we need to take a closer look at how the cities we live in are affecting our lives and overall wellbeing. Are they putting us in the best position possible to live our most intentional, aligned lives? Do they match the personal values and goals we have for ourselves and our families?

I was born and raised in Austin, Texas and have lived here for majority of my life, apart from the three full-time years I spent in Paris. My grandparents have been in Austin since the 60’s, so it’s safe to say my roots here run deep. If you’re an American, or at all familiar with the US population flow, you know how much of a hot spot Austin has become. I now receive a shocked response every time I tell people I was born and raised here, as were both my parents. And from those newcomers, I get an equally shocked response when I say I want to leave. Don’t get me wrong, Austin is an amazing place (hence why so many people want to live here,) however, as with many other aspects of my life, I’ve had to redefine what is in true alignment for me in this current phase of life.

This is a great example as to why living a fully intentional and aligned life can be so difficult. It requires us to ask ourselves the hard questions and then choose what to do with the truths. Do I continue living in this place that is no longer aligned because I have family support here? Do I keep my 9-5 job because of the stability and benefits? Once we know the truth to such questions, the hard work begins of taking the action, such as in this case of moving to a new city.

I know I’m not alone in this sentiment. I regularly have conversations with fellow “Austinites” about our ambitions to move to another place. And especially as a multi-cultural family, we’re constantly debating life between the US and Paris or Europe (but that’s a much longer story for another time.)

The idea of “finding the perfect place to live” is probably far-fetched, but we need to reside in places that allow us to live the most intentional versions of our lives, whatever that may look like for each of us. I’m still very much navigating this process, and knowing me, it may be a life-long exploration. I also know that we are very lucky to be able to work remotely, and in a lot of ways, have the freedom to choose where we live our lives and raise our family.

In case you find yourself in a similar situation as myself, I’ve created a brief “roadmap” for how to choose where to move. This is the process my husband and myself have personally followed for the past year or so now. Below the roadmap, I’ve given a few examples of our “Place Values,” and what our priorities and preferences are when it comes to choosing a new home.

These values will probably be completely different from yours (as they should!) but they may give you some potential ideas when it comes to creating your own values. Maybe having a bigger house matters, and walkability doesn’t. Maybe you have to be close to family, etc.

The Roadmap

Discover Your “Place Values:”

The first step is to take inventory of your personal (or your family’s) values to see what criteria you have. Make a long list of both the major and minor things that you’d like to have as part of your everyday environment, such as family support, walkability, weather, etc.

Rank and Prioritize Your Values:

Now that you’ve determined your values, you need to separate them into priorities and preferences. Priorities are your absolute must-have’s, while you may be able to compromise on preferences.

Identify Your Blocks:

It’s no secret that choosing a place to live is a massive decision that often comes with a lot of potential barriers or blocks. For example, we currently can’t live more than 6 months outside of the US until my husband gets his US citizenship. We also can’t live outside of the US with his current employment. So, list out any confines or boundaries you have to work around.

Research & Create Your List:

The fun part! Or at least I think so. I could literally research this for hours (and obviously I have.) My new favorite past time is plugging in all of my “Place Values” into Chat GPT and seeing what it comes up with. Honestly, it’s not a bad place to start! Apart from utilizing AI for major personal life decisions, talking with friends and connecting with people who you feel are aligned with your lifestyle is probably the most valuable way to gain initial insights. See what city they live in, ask them their personal experience (what they like, don’t like, etc) then see how their responses match up to your values. I’ve done this numerous times now, just be careful not to depend too much on other people’s experiences as we all have our own values.

Once you’ve nailed down your values and have completed your research phase, you should get a pretty good idea of what places are a potential option. Usually, once you’ve decided on your priorities, it will cut down a lot of the options anyways. For example, one of our priorities is sending our kids to a French International School, which narrowed our search down to about 15 places to start with. Also, this is really fun to do with a partner. My husband and I each did research on our own, created our lists, then come together to compare and discuss. It was funny to see what places he added to his list versus what I had on mine!

Determine a Potential Timeline:

When would a move even be possible, and more importantly, when would it be doable without feeling completely overwhelming? We personally know we’re in Austin for at least another year as we’re expecting a baby boy this Summer and need all the family support we can get for the first year. Sure, we technically could move tomorrow, technically any of us could, but what are the things that need to happen before you can feel confident in moving to a new place? Maybe it’s selling your home, making a career change, etc.

Exploration & Trial:

Now that you have your short list of places to move, as well as a potential time line mapped out, the next part is when it starts to “get real.” This is the phase we’re personally waiting for. Our plan is to visit each place that’s on our short list (and re-visit even if we’ve been before.) Depending on how we feel in each place, we’re planning on renting for a bit and establishing ourselves in the daily life of a place before completely committing.

Our Place Values

Here are a few of our “place values” we’ve determined are important for us:

Priorities:

Walkability: This is one of the things we miss most about living in Paris and being in Europe in general. Walking places just is not a reality here in Austin (at least in most places.)You have to take your car everywhere. Sure, this does in a lot of ways lead to a more convenient lifestyle, but we’re personally willing to trade some convenience to be able to live in a walkable place.
French Education: We know we want our kids to attend international schools and have French be a daily part of their lives and education. We’ve also learned after having Ella in an international school here in Austin that the community of parents and teachers are more in alignment with our personal values and lifestyle. Because of this we’ve made some great connections with other parents in the school.
A Mix of Urban & Slow Living: Access to amazing restaurants, coffeeshops, and cultural opportunities without being constantly overstimulated by the hustle of a larger city. A hard one!
Politics: After living in both Texas and Europe (literally polar opposites on the political spectrum,) we know we prefer to live in a liberal place.
And of course, safety.

Preferences:

Now that we’ve established our must-have’s, we can move onto to our preferences or “nice-to-haves.”

A few examples: Direct flights to Paris/Europe (preferably between 7-8 hours,) decent weather, some sort of family/friend support, ability to take weekend trips to nearby places, access to good produce/markets, an established creative community, nearby the water, and so on.

I also think one of the most important things to remember is that no decision has to be permanent. Sure, it would be great if you found your perfect place that you wanted to spend the rest of your life, but I believe the experiences we have by moving to new places, jumping out of our comfort zone, and redefining our daily lives is a necessary step in our growth, whether it’s just us personally moving, moving with a partner, or moving our entire family.

All of this to say, even if you can’t physically move due to a job, family situation, or something else, there are many ways we can begin to live more aligned lives, wherever we find ourselves, according to our “Place Values.” It’s important to stay present and continue moving towards the best versions of our lives regardless of if we’re scheming a big move or not. This is a lesson I’ve been learning lately and working to implement more of. I will expand more on this side of the conversation in another post, as I think I’ve maxed the word count (and the reader’s attention) for this one!

If this resonated with you in any way, I’d love to hear from you. Also, if you’re currently navigating a move, or debating making a move, please share about your challenges, questions or experiences, as this is a topic I know I’ll be exploring more in the future.